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In college, three different men — when asked whether or not we were exclusive — told me that they've just gotten out of serious relationships and weren't looking to commit to anything at the moment. A wantiny can either kick off a conversation or keep it going, Sandstrom says.

You get better at asking better questions, and answering with more interesting responses. Explain Your Boundaries Unhappy lesbian couple sitting on sofa in living room Shutterstock Some people interpret the relationship conversation as a trap. Give someone a compliment It shifts the focus to the other person and should make them feel good, Sandstrom explains.

You can say, "If I spend three months dating someone, then I like the relationship to be exclusive by that point.

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Our fear assumptions fail to take into the social norms of politeness, Schroeder says. That way, the focus is not on what the other person is being denied by committing. One guy even answered the question of, "Are we officially dating? Research shows the opposite, however, that people nearly always are willing to engage in a conversation when prompted by someone else.

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She researches how people navigate their social worldsincluding how language and mental capacity influences interactions. For example, rather than saying, "You shouldn't be dating other people," you can instead say, " I prefer the idea of dating someone exclusively rather than being with someone who sees other someoe.

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Research actually suggests that people who ask more questions are better liked by their conversation partners than people who ask fewer questions. Though it may not be witb you're interested in, you might also consider suggesting to the other person that you spend a few months dating other people.

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If someone doesn't want the same thing, then you need to remind yourself that compromising your needs chaf your only option. Focus on using the word "I" rather than "you" so that it's clear you're not trying to control either the person or the convo. They'll be much more receptive to the conversation if they aren't already feeling overwhelmed. Be curious Ask questions.

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When you're asked to be exclusive, you're essentially being asked to limit your opportunities and commit yourself exclusively to one person, which can sometimes seem scary in concept — especially if the person being asked has any doubts about how they feel. It doesn't even have to be about sex — if you witg to date someone exclusively, you should talk to your partner about your reasoning and your needs.

It also might be the case that the person you're dating is simply never going to commit. Create Your Own Timeline Interracial couple arguing in cafe. A deadline wanting someone to chat with usually something that's imposed on someone else, and if you tell someone, "You need to give me an answer by Wednesday wabting we're done," that person probably isn't going to be too eager to DTR.

Forget it. Choose The Right Time To Have The Conversation Just as you shouldn't bring up dating wjth when you two are drinking or fornicating, you should consider what else is wanting someone to chat with on in both your life and the other person's life before you initiate. The other person may just like the idea of dating other people rather than actually doing it, and by having that freedom, they may find witg they don't actually want it.

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You are deserving of the type of relationship you desire. By Corinne Sullivan Aug.

A timeline, however, is something you can give to yourself but share with the person you're dating. More like this. If that's the case, you should find out sooner rather than later. If they have a big paper to finish, a stressful presentation to give, or even just a really bad cold, wait until things have calmed down. Communicate In A Non-Defensive Way You want to be careful to avoid making accusations when having this conversation as well.

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I reached out to Stef Safranmatchmaking and dating expert, and Anita Chlipaladating and relationships expert, to find out how to best initiate a conversation about being exclusive with someone you're dating. Either of your birthdays is not great.

sojeone So if you were thinking about bringing up the relationship talk while the two of you are out at a bar or mid-coitus, I wouldn't recommend it. The most important thing is knowing what you want, and if you're dating a person who refuses to commit, don't feel obligated to compromise just to stay with them.

The best way to approach the conversation is to explain cjat own reasons for wanting an exclusive relationship. Quarrel concept Shutterstock There's a big different between a timeline and a deadline. Even if nothing major is going on in your life at the moment, be considerate of the other person's schedule as well.

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Valentine's Day? It can be a matter of STDs or discomfort or jealousy, and any reason you have is perfectly valid.

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Focusing the attention on the other person in those moments can help us get past those awkward spots, she says. Positive Caucasian guy making peace with her anger black girlfriend.

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For example, finals week is not ideal.

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